I played games with my mind.....

Sooo much that I forgot to make the appointment to go 'get the results' today. I have major anxiety over things like I have said before so when I was told I would have to wait another week to find out "yes" or no I started tricking my mind into not thinking about it, even though every time I lay down my boobs hurt, they are twice the size they were 3 weeks ago, I get random nausea and some pinching pains (which I heard are a 'norm' thing)..........

I called this morning and told them I did not get my period and I am calling as instructed to make my appointment.....She asked if I wanted to come in tomorrow morning or wednesday Morning....I said TOMORROW....Cause now thats all I can think about today now and I REFUSE to do a home test out of superstition!!

I guess we will all just have to wait another 24-48 hours.......UGH!!

Tick Toc....

This week is dragging!! Every day I am consumed with the thought of whether I am or am not..... I know I am fortunate that most people wouldnt even suspect at this point but we have had a 3 year journey and since I am having symptoms and Blood work that is looking like success I just want the POSITIVE!!!

Aaron is even geting anxious because there is nothing in this world he loves more than 'playtime' and during 'playtime' he said to me "so when do you go get pictures of them??" Gotta love him!!

Consuming my time with Bloggin, surfing, Playing the Wii, Spending time with the Corradetti twins, and Cleaning my butt off.......By Monday I should be pretty well spent on Nerves....

Another week to go....

So we went to the doctors yesterday morning. I had Blood work done nd then they swept me off to my usual Ultrasound room....When the doctor came in the first thing she said was "we will not be able to tel about pregnancy today we are just measuring what we see, you will have to come back next week for Pregnancy test and US". Ok i think let me just lay back than and not think about it, But I couldnt!! I saw 2 rather big 'things' and one fairly large 'thing' and 3 little tiny 'things'......The 3 little things were perfectly round so I am gathering they are new cysts developing but the other 3 were abstract shaped like we have seen before with the Corpus Leutium when I conceived before so we are still on the road to POSITIVITY!!

Plus Aaron was talking about them on the way home giving me the dimensions and talking about the shape too so He is believing it too....

We shall see, NEXT WEEK cant come soon ENOUGH!!

Waiting

The waiting is KILLING me.....I am the type of person that cant have a gift sent to me with a tag on it that say "Wait til Christmas" to open it cause almost ALWAYS I will open it the day I get it cause I just can't wait!! According to calculations IF we are expecting today I am 2weeks and 6 days. Most people wouldnt even suspect it by now.

I have to say that if this month was not successful I just dont know what I will do....I have never wanted or tried to have anything so badly before in my life!! My senses have been telling me that we did conceive and that we will carry to term so that is what I am believing and willing my body to do....

Optomistic

So Tracy called from the Doctors office yesterday morning and said that Dr Packin agreed I should start the Progesterone BID and to come in on Monday (8/11/08) for US & BW. She said he also felt Optomistic even though I O'd early that 'A' and I may have conceived the old fashion way without the planned IUI.

FINGERS & TOES Crossed!!

New Beginning

Today is my first day of a new quest in making Baby Anderson. I am 36 years old and My Husband is 32 years old. We have been trying for the past 3 1/2 years and have had 5 miscarriages. I had previously seen a fertility doctor last year for a few months which resulted in 2 of those pregnancies but after the 4 th miscarriage I became very worn of trying and being disappointed so we stopped treatments. Mind you our treatments weren't heavy at the time they were just Clomid and Progesterone with Ultrasounds and blood work every few days. It wasnt the treatment that wore on me it was the losses. Well, I had my 5th miscarriage in April 2008 conceived the good old fashioned way. For some reason that loss pissed me off and I am bound and determined to have the baby or babies my husband and I desire. I started seeing a new Reproductive Endocrinologist in May and he seems optimistic that we will have a successful outcome. I had to wait out the June cycle cause my blood work was still all messed up from the last miscarriage. I just started my new cycle on July 26 and was seen today for Blood work and Ultrasound. I got a call from the doctors office a little bit ago with a GREEN LIGHT for this month. I am starting the Follistim injections tonight and will be seen again on Friday Morning.....Fingers Crossed this works because our insurance only covers very little and we have to pay out of pocket for the medicines and the IVF if we had to go that route but I have a feeling this is going to be the magic month and that the one cycle of Follistim and IUI is all we will need....

Will keep you posted and welcome anyone who can give in site on success after 5 miscarriages or just wants to share their story....

Heather Anderson